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Sunday, July 22, 2018


There are some that don’t believe in miracles. The logic behind them just won’t let some acknowledge that magical special things happen by chance. But I think it depends on what you feel a miracle is.
For some it’s a convenient parking place, for others it’s finding a twenty dollar bill when you are broke and hungry.  I don’t think it matters how you define miracles, just as long as you remember to show gratitude for them.
I do believe in miracles, I believe every now and then the universe, God or whatever you want to call it, comes together to remind you that we are all connected and we can depend on that connection. Things just fall into place from time to time.  Your car won’t start, and you are late for work, but five minutes before you were on the road a wreck happened and if you were there you would be in it. Chance? Luck? Or is there a force out there looking out for you.
There are times when we wonder what the heck is going on. We work, strive and plan to the best of our ability and things just don’t go how we thought they should. A short time later something bigger and better happens, and I just hope we remember to be thankful the other thing didn’t work out.
Every day I walk my dog, and at the top of the little hill, I stop and look out at the pines and oaks in the little valley, usually a hawk or some bird seems to fly by at the perfect moment to complete the scene. I stand there and thank God for the day, the promise of fulfillment, joy or even a lesson out of a hardship.
To me putting a seed in the ground and have it become food is a miracle. I mean who would have thought a little seed, some dirt and water could grow something so big, nourishing with just 3 little things. I believe that life, a baby is a miracle. I mean think about it. Chromosomes, chemical reactions, all things lining up in perfect order to create a mouse, a horse, a person happens every day, without fail. So many thing things have to be in perfect order.
Don’t overlook the miracles that happen every day. Be thankful, show gratitude. Find joy in the simple. Sometimes that alone is the miracle.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

The paradox is humiliating

Sitting alone in a dark room. No light, no sound, nothing to smell or feel. You open a window and see the fight over politics, the yelling, the righteous indignation. You hear the words and feel the anger, hope and futility of it all. People slanting the narrative so you believe what they are saying, vying for power and perceived importance. You close that window and open another one, feed the hungry is the plan of the day, and nations come together to get food to those that have none, only for it to be taken away by gangs and ugly people of power to use as leverage to get the hungry to do their bidding. You close that window and open one that shows the Vatican. The hiding of secrets and treasures, to maintain power over people seeking faith, reason for wars and unkindness. All things controlled by bullies, it seems. People wanting power and control over other people. How do you stop the bullies, by being a bigger one? The paradox is humiliating.
Close the windows, welcome back the darkness, the quiet, the ease of no emotions. No sadness, no fear, no joy, no happiness. Just numb. Is that painless? Is it enough? Can you have joy without sadness, happiness without fear?  The paradox is humiliating.
Look inside at all you are. Are you controlled by others? Or do you do the controlling? Do you find yourself spending all your time not letting others control or bully you, in turn giving you no time to grow and thrive? Do you allow others to decide your fate, giving you more time to think about things you wish for, knowing you can’t have them?  Do you let the past control your future or do you learn from it and let it go? Have you figured out how to control yourself? Or did you let someone tell you how.  The paradox is humiliating.
Human beings are not simple creatures. Faith teaches us to be humble, to love one another. Yet people that are in power behind the guise of faith want you to help them buy a jet, feed the coffers, give to their current cause.  Standing alone helps no one, but can be freeing. There is a Buddhist monk that can water ski on his feet. He has mastered something so irrelevant to the naked eye, it helps no one, yet these people are revered.  Yogis master the art of meditation, purely a selfish thing, yet people strive to find the nirvana within. The paradox is humiliating.
I thought we were here to help each other. People in horrible places want to join those in the perceived good places. But because of gangs and other hateful people that got there first, they are unwanted. We are too civilized to get rid of the hateful people, we put them in jails that are full, we feed and house them away from the rest of the world. We don’t help, because they just keep on coming, looking to overcome neighborhoods, cities, states, countries. Wanting to spread their fear and control. But we don’t stop them. The paradox is humiliating.
We battle ourselves with kinds of things I’ve been talking about, every day. We make decisions that will change our world every time we have a thought. We don’t know the answers and fear failure. The balance is so hard to achieve. We listen to others, we weigh and measure, guess at outcomes, if we are right well then, we are right. If we are wrong we learn something and grow. The paradox is humilitating.
And finally we get older, we worked hard, saved money, and finally can slow down a bit. While we are growing we find we either had time or the money to do the things we wanted to do but seldom both. We worked so hard to achieve this state, the knowledge, the time, a little extra cash we finally have all the things to complete that goal.  And because of that hard work, the body fails us. The paradox is humiliating.

Friday, July 20, 2018

From Hero to Zero

Have you ever read articles about empaths. Some make empaths sound like they have super powers, others make it sound like empath can barely handle daily life.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is?

I know I have vacillated between the two at any given time. There is no problem with being open all the time as long as you don't forget to forgive. People are so different from each other and from one day to the next. Someone can be a rock for you, and other times a puddle of need. We have to remember that many times people don't know that you know. Folks go about their day, smiling when they are sad, acting appreciative when they really don't even care,  even portraying love when it doesn't exist. Walking through a room of people and picking up on these things can really upset your balance. We want to scream out, "can't you see this?"  But not all people can. We watch while those with good hearts are helping because they want to, and those with dark hearts harming those that care about them.

But we really don't know the whole story. We don't know what drove people to act the way they do. We don't know what the past did to bring them to the light or dark. We don't know what happened 10 minutes before you saw what you saw.

So in order to handle what you see, remember to forgive. We tend to judge, because we don't know the path that brought them to the point you just experienced.  We see the hurt or help of an action, and only know of those few moments in time we witnessed. Even if it is a person you are around all the time, we at times don't know what drives them.

Forgiveness is very hard when it feels personal. But what a great way to ground yourself, remember why you are here and share your light. No one even needs to know!

There are the toxic that we really should stay away from, they are like empath kryponite.  We feel we can help, and sadly you can't help anyone that doesn't want it. So instead we can forgive them and go on our way. Forgiveness cuts the cord, think about that! No super secret herbs, stones or magic. Just forgive and the cord is broken. Does it get any easier?

Wild Empath Chronicles A chat with the Big Guy

I rode to the creek again, tied my horse to a tree. I have roamed away from my faith a bit and spent the last two days talking to God. My confusion is mainly making sure I stay in the light as I am being introduced so many different ways of thinking. So there I sat in the dirt listening to the rolling water in the stream pass me by.

As I am sitting and draw myself inward, deeper and deeper I go till I see her, my other self. The sounds of the water are gone now, there are only my thoughts. She wanders to the faint glow off in the distance and calls out to The Lord. “I need information and have questions”, she says. As she gets closer to the light there is a feeling of great power and knowledge. She knows she can not get too close it will overwhelm her senses, she stops a comfortable ways away and is engulfed in white light.

She tells Him of a fascinating group of people she has met. They are from all walks of life, all areas of the globe, all different beliefs and gifts. And yet we all share a common bond. There is great love there, great understanding. In this world we feel like the odd ones, and seen as the dreamers and schemers. But here in this safe place friendships are made, love is shared; ideas are discussed all without judgment. “Why she asks are we all brought to this place”.

She can hear the smile in His voice, “see their souls and you will get your answer”. She was shown the people as certain types in her mind, the warriors, the healers and the seers. All with unique gifts and all that cannot be properly described. She thought of the people she knew and could see the logic in this. Logic is a human concept she was told, not always infallible in every world, but this is the way you see, so this is they way you well be shown. This answer was confusing, but she didn’t question it.

The Warriors are defenders. They hold great strength of will and have the ability to protect. They are of noble and honorable spirit, and will defend the herd, protect the pack, rescue the taken, defend the weak, how ever you see it in your mind. They appeared as flame, powerful, warm, yet controlled, a beacon to those in need of help, and warm enough to be drawn to them. She could see how many she knew would fit this feeling and felt she understood. It was then she realized that there was no physical substance to what she saw, but energy, an emotion instead.

The Healers were different. They were a open spirit, open to feeling, pain, confusion. They helped, in all ways someone could be helped. To mend the spirit, ease the heart, gentle the mind and heal the body. They appeared as green mist, a natural source and gentle being that called to those in need, connected to the soul to find the way and sooth the pain. She saw that this could be by energy or knowledge or a caring ear. But to ease the suffering was their only goal. A great task with great risk of self dissemination, but necessary all the same.

The Seers where confusing. They had the gift of sight. To see what others could not. But not the future He warned, as there is only One that can see such a thing. They see the past, the paths ahead and the knowing of who has and will travel these paths, not always where they lead and why, but the choice to be made, the chances to be taken. They appeared as the sky, a vast area of blue, for the open realm of their gift and flight of the mind.

As she thought of these beautiful beings it was apparent that some she knew were more than one, or had the traits of one the temperament of the other. As will all things logical it never really seems perfect or absolute when dealing with beings.

As she sat in the glowing light and mulled over what she had been shown she thought of the people in her life. Those in that place where the misunderstood were accepted, and those outside that place that she also loved. She asked for love to be sent to them all. As she sat the light increased and began to flow out of her in all directions. She wondered idly if they would really feel it or if just her knowing she loved them was enough.

She got turned to leave and realized she really didn’t get an answer to her question, “but why were we all brought together in that place”. He smiled, “that isn’t the first time you met, and that isn’t the only place you are”. After hearing those words the light faded and she was drawn away, and soon she heard the water in the creek tumbling over the stones.

The horse whinnied and I rose out of the dirt to see to him. I was still in that place between, when I got on and started riding home. Everything looked so much clearer, colors brighter, and here and there a slight shimmer in the air. It was like seeing it for the first time. The texture of the bark of the trees, the veins in the leaves, the golden carpet of the dead leaves on the ground, and the red packed earth of the trail. I saw a couple of does looking at us through the brush, but they didn’t run, they just watched us go by. It was a very surreal time until I was back completely.

As I meandered home I realized yet again, for every question I have been answered, multitudes more came to mind.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Independence Day

Today is July 4th, Independence day.  This means so many things to so many people. I think of the freedoms we have to choose our faith, our fate, our jobs, our lives, our knowledge.  We get to choose. Thinking along these lines I think of the choices I made.  Seems today is a day of reflection.  As usual these never turn our terribly well. 
We focus on the negative. We just can’t seem to help it. I think I have figure out why.
I look back at “mistakes” that I now call learning experiences. I have passed these experiences down when applicable. Not because I am kind or loving, but because there has to be some kind of meaning behind the lesson. Some were easy, some were not so easy.  The harder they were the more likely I would share. After all, why would we be put through such things if there wasn’t a reason, any reason!
I look back at the differences that I now see in myself and throughout my life.  Some people call them flaws, but we are all flawed and that word just seems a bit brutal. So to me they are differences. I was thinking today I didn’t keep track of my old friends, nor do they contact me.  I have new friends, and they are wonderful people, but I lost touch with those I grew up with. I wonder how much of that is me, time and/or convenience.  I wonder sometimes if I am too much, or not enough. Either way it is not my call. But I still wonder.
I thought about all the things I have learned the last 10 years. Off the wall things, interesting things, all things that can help myself and others. Reiki, aroma therapy, tarot, palm reading, I Ching, Critical Incidence Stress Management, Chaplaincy, things all over the board. Seems I want to help people. But do I want to because I am loving and kind? No.  I want to because I feel it is my duty.  I feel the human race is off the rails. I feel the varying moral code, the inability to keep things simple, the need we have to expand, explain, justify has lead us down a slippery slope. We are confused, we don’t know the rules anymore and this brings on insecurity. It has made us ugly towards each other. We can be happy in our world and have one person tell us we are missing out, or confused, or doing it wrong and it can bring doubt. We want to fit in after all. So we let others, movie stars, “professionals” tell us what we need to be complete. Because we are all “different” no one person knows what it takes to make us whole. But we listen to them anyway and get off our own track.  Do you have any idea how simple it is to turn someone’s day around? One complement, one sentence of kind words. That is it! Do we do it for them? Not really. Do we do it for us? No. We do it for the collective, the humans on this planet that are fighting for understanding, to be seen.  Yep, something as simple as just to be noticed. 
I am not young anymore. I have noticed the older I get, the more invisible I become. I forget I am older. I act like I always have, and have become that creepy old lady that doesn’t know her place. I say inappropriate things, tell off color jokes.  No one wants to hear the wisdom of the older people. After all, things are different now, it’s all changed, how could my knowledge be of any value? But people haven’t changed. We are still driven the same way, we still need the same things, and we still act out when depleted. They say the world has changed.  I am here to tell you it hasn’t. There has always been in-crowds, cool kids, smart kids, lucky kids, struggling kids. These all turn into adults that either learn how to accept and overcome or they don’t.  
The reason we focus on the negative is because that is what we need to overcome. We don’t need to put energy into the positive, it is fine just how it is. But the negative, that takes some work, some energy, some understanding.  But when you learn the lesson, you feel yourself becoming more complete and most times vow never to make that mistake again. So we remember, we mull it over, we let it define our growth. But never should a “lesson” define who we are. We are a sum total of all our lessons, the good and the bad.
So what does this rambling mess have to do with Independence Day?  Plenty. We have the right to make our choices, this is call Freedom. And we should humbly thank those that fought and died for us to be able to make our mistakes, enjoy our differences and revel in our joys.  We take these things for granted, and today is a great reminder of how fortunate we truly are.